The Sky is Falling

Or at least my sky is falling. Where do I begin? Maybe I should just start with what's on my heart & go from there. We had a "falling out" with the kids. The oldest. It was coming. It had been coming for a while. The phrase "you pay for your raising" has never hit home harder. I look back now on all the things I put my parents through, and all the things David put his parents through, what we both put them through and think...wow-I am SO sorry, and I long to be able to go back & "undo" so many things from our past. As usual, I don't want to go into any great detail here, I am a fairly private person when it comes to my little family. I do however want to say that I'm angry, and more important, my heart hurts right now. I miss Hunter already, and know that only time will help this heal. This, like everything, I must "Give to God". I struggle with that, always. I love my children more than words can say, too much really. I don't want them to struggle or have it hard. I want to help them, and I can't anymore. Not financially, and apparently, not emotionally. I have to let them grow up. On their own. I have to let them live their life. I just wish it was easier.


Number Two on my heart right now....my work. And my friends there. Two weeks ago we found out that we lost our biggest account. It's a Big deal. VERY big deal. There was no warning, no one saw it coming, it just happened.
Within an hour of finding out, there was a round of "lay-offs". My very good friend "A", who started a few months after me, was the first to be let go. She had been there over six years! She is a single mom, worked full time, is going to school, and had just bought a brand new car! My dear friend daughter "T" was let go. She started working with her mom & me a while ago & is such a sweet & precious young lady. She has a heart of gold & will be greatly missed. Another young lady had just had her first baby girl. That's just to name a few, and there were many more. Yesterday, the lay-offs hit the sales team. There were a total of 14 sales people. The original list was to cut 6, but as of this moment, 3 are gone. Without warning. Quickly, quietly, it was over. There will be more I'm sure. Don't get me wrong. I am good at what I do. VERY good. And as long as they can give me something to sell, I can sell it. Still my heart hearts for those that lost their jobs, and for those thay may still.

And lastly, I am thankful. I am thankful for my friends & family, that's helping me get through this season in my life. But my real rock, my lifeline in all this is my husband. I am especially thankful for David. I am thankful that he knows me inside & out. He knows when I need to vent, to cry, to be afraid, or to avoid the topics all together, if just for a little while. I am thankful his shoulders are so big & strong, and that he can carry the weight of his world on them, and then mine too. We are in this together, and I know as long as I don't have to walk this walk alone, I can get through it....me